unsucessful NJ sketch DEAL FOR BRITAIN

That time of year again... (any thoughts on how far off the mark appreciated)

DEAL FOR BRITAIN (unsuccessful Newsjack sketch)

ANGELA/INTRO:
Theresa May has publically stated that she wants a 'Hard Brexit' even before negotiations with the EU have begun, which is a bit like going to a used car dealer and saying "Here's all my money, mate - please give me any old thing to get around in that's better than a pair of smelly old trainers - but I'll settle for the trainers'. No worries though because the Prime Minister has gone to Washington D.C. to cut a deal with President Trump...

FX: JET TOUCHING DOWN

AIDE #1: Welcome to the White House, Prime Minister.

MAY: Thank you.

AIDE #2: President Trump will be here shortly but he asked us to brief you first on the transaction.

MAY: Transaction?

AIDE #1: Don't worry-

AIDE #2: We're both fully-qualified licensed real estate agents.

AIDE #1: I helped develop the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City.

AIDE #2: And I once sold a house to Brad Pitt.

AIDE #1: So we're here to help sketch out the basic outline of the deal for Britain.

AIDE #2: President Trump is very interested in your country.

MAY: I am glad to hear it. I propose we eliminate tariffs on-

AIDE #1: But let's be honest - it's a fixer-upper.

AIDE #2: It looks like it hasn't been properly maintained in years.

AIDE #1: He's going to have to put in a lot of his own money towards upgrades-

AIDE #2: If he's to stand any chance of flipping it later.

AIDE #1 For example, the plumbing is terrible.

AIDE #2: Why can't you limeys ever get that right?

AIDE #1: The foundation is also a big concern.

AIDE #2: Because it's so shaky.

AIDE #1: And there are huge problems with the attic.

AIDE #2: That means Scotland.

MAY: Well, you're right there. But no - I cannot sell off the United Kingdom no matter how dire our
circumstance.

AIDE #2: Really? I doubt you'll get a better offer anywhere else.

AIDE #1: And you don't want it sitting on the market forever.

AIDE #2: Or 'outside the market' forever.

AIDE #1: What if Trump throws in two weeks vacation for you and Philip at his Palm Beach resort every winter?

BEAT.

AIDE #2: Plus five hundred dollars in spa credit.

MAY: Done.

END

Seems fine to me - I like the Scotland as the attic joke.

Hi Carney,

Maybe pick a news story that's more obscure from the weeks news. Theresa May, Donald Trump and Brexit may be to obvious. If you read the Newsjack guidelines and tips on the front of this forum. (Click Picture) I think you'll find that's the kind of thing their looking for. I also think there has to be two female characters in each sketch. (check that)

Cheers.