Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 229

Until a nurse in A&E explained, Brian Brane though tampons were a cure for diarrhea.

Nick Nockerty is just one short for his 1,000th night-time washing line raid. He has yet to be caught in the act even though he provides a clue to his crimes via his personalised car number plate: UR N1KRS

Frankie Rage was forced to retire as a cage fighter when they threw away the keys.

George Kaplan used to be a stunt double for Kenneth Kendall
Whenever there was a difficult news item George would grab his wig & rush on to the set.

In the News at 10 Box set special features you can always tell when It's George because Kenneth holds the sheets of News in front of his face & his voice would go up an octave

Steve Sunshine is such a food snob he imports his Swiss Roll from Geneva, even though it's actually manufactured in Derby, and the exact same brand is in Lidl for a fraction of the price.

In his role as CEO of the Tottenham Origami Society, George Kaplan has recently leased rooms at Spurs FC, which could lead to the club folding.

PSSTT, having felt let down by his parents, subsequently dropped the P from his name.

Frankies twin brother Nigelfa fell out with him after the referendum

Steve Sunshine's trademark attire of stacked heels, assless chaps and feather boa is once again attracting controversy during his weekly slot on Radio Basingstoke's long running information programme for the over 65's "Pimp my Stannah".

A spokesman for the station commented;

"This is purely a Health and Safety issue. The fake leather chair in studio 3 is used by several members of staff and guests alike. The risk it poses to other people after his show cannot continue to be ignored."
Steve was unavailable for comment.

Hildegard Titweavil spends his weekends taking parties of OAP's to Scarborough - to piss on Jimmy Saville's grave.

Bless him.

Playfull wears Christmas socks all year EXCEPT Christmas day (for an obvious reason..) ... yes, that's right - that's the day they get washed.

Once a large group of pensioners took it in turn to urinate over Frankie whilst he slept in a cemetery in Scarborough.
He was wearing a golden track suit, so it was hard to tell who was taking the piss.

Nick Nockerty has once again failed to impress at the early stages of next years' Britain's got Talent auditions. Still trying to re-kindle the flame from his early works such as "Screams from the dental chair" and "Santa Funk Ballad III", his passion for music is as strong now as it ever was.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7Yxk6h_-Hg

Hildegard Titweavil was visited by the ghost of Christmas still to come, or Trumpmas as it was then called. He was taken on Alton Towers new attraction, "The Pussy Grabber". Be afraid (and also be shaven).

Nick Nockerty recently starred in an updated 'street' version of Spartacus. In the famous scene the question was finally asked, 'Which one amongst you is an arsehole?' and Nick stood up and answered, 'I'm an arsehole'.