Tell us a joke Page 186

I think cartoon jokes are a bit Mickey Mouse.

I found a gold watch outside the Day-Care centre in the High Street.
I got £7.43 for it on Gumtree.... RESULT.

Then I found a babies buggy outside the Playgroup (also in the High Street).
I got £12.03 for it on Ebay.... RESULT.

A few days after that, I found a Chris Boardman racing bike padlocked to the railings outside the Christian Aid shop in the shopping centre.
I got £ 23.50 for it on Gumtree.... RESULT.

Next, I found a Golden Labrador tied to a lamp post near the bank in the High Street.
I got £38.00 for it on Gumtree.... RESULT.

A couple of weeks later, I found a K Class Mercedes in the car park round from the High Street.
I got six months for it.

Laughing out loud

ACTIVE THREADS - I'm sure that's where your jacket and trousers go out on their own when you're too tired.

Lube for sheep shaggers - oil of ewe lay.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 6th December 2016, 7:55 PM

ACTIVE THREADS - I'm sure that's where your jacket and trousers go out on their own when you're too tired.

Like that one.

Topical joke alert!
A motorist was recently cautioned by police for eating cereal at the wheel
It would have been a harsher punishment but most of the evidence was shredded

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 6th December 2016, 3:49 PM

I think cartoon jokes are a bit Mickey Mouse.

A pair of big ears, some whiskers and a funny tail unblocked my sink. Next day it blocked again. Bit of a Mickey Mouse outfit.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 6th December 2016, 7:55 PM

ACTIVE THREADS - I'm sure that's where your jacket and trousers go out on their own when you're too tired.

Porn forum. Some threads may be sticky.

Quote: Reg N @ 8th December 2016, 5:29 PM

Lube for sheep shaggers - oil of ewe lay.

Cross between Shakespeare and a sheep. The Baaaaaaaaaaaaaard.

I snogged a donkey recently.
Somebody said "kiss my ass".

Christmas film where Trump bonks his wife in the closet. It's called 'The Liar, The Bitch and The Wardrobe'.

Speaking of Trump, he has a lot in common with Religious types, believes in a good profit.

The work was sometimes hard, sometimes soft ..but the money at the sewage works wasn't to be sniffed at..

I had insomnia for over a year.
I tried everything.
Even listening to whale song.
But after six months
I just wished they were dead.

The guy who thought he could parkour between tall buildings was dead wrong.

My mother said, A guy called Richard did me up the butt and I just farted.. I said, That's Rich, coming from you.