Tell us a joke Page 176

What do you think to the Edinburgh top 15 jokes?
Better jokes appear on this forum regularly.

And why no Knob jokes? They're easy to toss off.

Quote: Reg N @ 23rd August 2016, 9:45 AM

And why no Knob jokes? They're easy to toss off.

I had a wanking contest over the Spice Girls. Mel C won by a long shot.

Last earthquake was here was Abruzzo and they sent up Berlusconi. Hadn't they suffered enough already?

Bus driver was driving off without me even though I was stood at the stop. I shouted, "how do you expect me to get on?" He told me to take a running jump..

*****

I was listening to some eggs when a guy passing asked me if I'd heard any good yolks lately..

*****

The man with his arm stuck down a toilet bowl apparently didn't know his arse from his elbow..

*****

The old woman was panicking as she was unsure how to dry her undies - I told her to get her knickers in a twist..

*****

The skull didn't worry about things at all as it was a no brainer..

What do you call a transsexual after a lobotomy? It's a no brainer.

The dish was empty - it was a no brawner..

The baby remained in her belly - it was a no borner..

Fred had the old trouser snake droop - it was a no boner..

Mrs Browns Boys was recently voted sitcom of the century.

Presumably, by the Olympic boxing judges.

According to the news rare burgers can give you food poisoning. OK, but what about more common burgers such as Iceland or Tesco's?

Quote: Reg N @ 23rd August 2016, 9:45 AM

And why no Knob jokes? They're easy to toss off.

In the recent BCG wanking contest I am proud to say I held my own.. (came first, actually..)

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 25th August 2016, 8:03 PM

In the recent BCG wanking contest I am proud to say I held my own.. (came first, actually..)

I won hands down.

A geezer has been pestering me for fishing lessons. I told him to sling his hook.

*****

I was told off for wanking at work. My boss took me into her office for a disciplinary, she locked the door and I shot my bolt.

What do you call men who say they never wank?
Liars.

When I was 15 I was morbidly attracted to pornograhy because I felt alone and frustrated and unable to form fulfilling relationships in reality. These days I just like wanking.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 25th August 2016, 8:03 PM

..the BCG wanking contest..

I entered it blindfold - but don't ask me where I came.*

Have you been on that dark web ? I couldn't see a thing.

I should go back to Coprastasophiliacs Anonymous - I haven't been for ages.

*© Rameses II

I don't understand the Invisible Man when he ejaculates. I just don't see where he's coming from.