Quote: Reg N @ 16th April 2016, 5:04 PM BST

Feel free. Or four if you're lucky.

Btw, I thought the Catholic priest one was more up your street.

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As I said when I put 5 Rowan Atkinsons in the freezer, cool beans.
Yes the Catholic one is up my parts but Pitts is a nice topper.

My 6 year old son was involved in a hit and run accident today.
I knew I shouldn't have lent him my car.

Where did Bin Laden keep his CDs?

In Iraq

What's long and hard and has cum in it?

a cucumber

I asked a 15-year-old dick what its owner does every night. It shrugged: 'Beats me.'

-That wee Rona is like Marmite.
-What? You love her or hate her?
-No! They're both only one degree of separation from yeast!!

My Greek friend is indifferent. Eumaius Welle.

Michael do you think you could have structured that joke differently?

I mean what you've said is "there's a punch line coming, ah here it is hope you enjoyed it"

Not only that but is Eumaise especially Greek, Welles certainly isn't it.

I guess the classic version would be the old books joke.

"Indifferent water boring by Euimaise Welles"

Quote: John Mairs @ 19th April 2016, 11:40 AM BST

-That wee Rona is like Marmite.
-What? You love her or hate her?
-No! They're both only one degree of separation from yeast!!

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That's great although to nick the old Australian beer joke

"they're both f**king close to yeast"

Quote: Sam Goetzee @ 16th April 2016, 11:14 PM BST

My 6 year old son was involved in a hit and run accident today.
I knew I shouldn't have lent him my car.

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Nice one.

Thanks for the feedback!
Great American director bored holes in the ground. Awesome Wells.

I started going to Weight Watchers meetings. It's a lot easier than going to a gym, because once I see the other cows I feel a twenty pounds lighter.

I saw Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham and Kristen Johnson. I said, What's the skinny?

I applied to join a club where people wee on each other.
I told the manager I'd been doing it for 30 years.
He said "Urine!"

Panty Liners, Hammocks for lazy c**ts.

I only got 2 quid for one of Posh's bogies. Slim pickings.

In my family we have the fat gene, or Nanna as I normally call her.