DRAGONS DEN

INVENTER
Good morning dragons. In the course of any conversation, we've all wanted to supply a witty reply at some point, but not been able to find one in time. So may I present my new invention, the "Ansaback machine".

DEVICE

(SARCASTICALLY)... Ansaback machine.

INVENTER

This new device analyses the conversation and detects the level of pomposity, then automatically supplies a riposte, which can vary between a gently amusing quip for a someone with humility, or something more robust if your opponent is more pompous .

DEVICE

(SARCASTICALLY)... pompous.

SCOTS DRAGON

(DISMISSIVELY)Are you for real? All it seems to do is repeat what was last said, but sarcastically. Do you think we're idiots?

DEVICE

(SHOUTS)...idiots!

INVENTER

No of course I don't think you are idiots!

DEVICE

...you ARE idiots!

SCOTS DRAGON

Well! I've never been so insulted, you are so...

DEVICE

(SNEERING)...arsehole!

LADY DRAGON

That's enough now, you can't...

DEVICE

(LOUDLY)...you c*nt!

END

Yes, it's a funny sketch!

On a practical note, if it's to be performed (rather than simply read as a script), you'll run into problems with overlapping dialogue in cases where the machine interrupts someone to repeat something.

On paper, an ongoing speech ends where the interruption starts but, in practice, there's always an overlap of dialogue unless the interruption comes during a pause for breath.

The problem occurs during the Scots Dragon's saying "Well! I've never been so insulted, you are so..."

This might be solved by changing it to "Well! I've never been so insulted, you are so... (SEARCHES FOR A WORD).

And where the Lady Dragon's says "That's enough now, you can't...", she could say "If you think you can get me to invest in this, you can't."

Just a minor point.

Overall it's very good.

Like it, and Ming: good notes!

very clever

Thanks for reading it everyone, and for your generous praise.

nice notes I like it

Could see it, could hear it and was in the room. Nice work.

Is DragonSketch only interested in Dragons Den Sketches?
If so then his name suits him

I wonder why this old thread was resurrected, and also why I called it 'yet another'; had I written several before? I only remember writing one other.