Tell us a joke Page 140

At this time of year I like to ejaculate on my dad's toes. Tidings of come, foot and joy.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/dec/30/screening-sperm-donors-dyslexia-clinic

Apparently sperm donation clinics are now refusing sperm from dyslexic donors.

The real reason they banned dyslexic donors was because the local Indian restaurant complained.

Donors were asked to go to the "Donation Room" to provide their sample.

The manager of "Tandoori Moon" restaurant was unavailable for comment.

"Their, there, they're" my dyslexic Mother would say when I c**t my knee.

Two sperm are swimming along, but one is lagging behind.
The other one looks back and shouts, "Are you coming?"

Two sperm in a forest.
One says, "I think we missed, this looks like pubes"
The other says, "It's worse, this is a beard."

Two Stand Up comedians standing at the gates of Heaven.
"How'd your gig go?"
"Same as yours, it looks like."

I did my first castration yesterday. Got the ball rolling.

At the cannibal party;
"Enjoying yourself?"
"Yes, I'm having a ball!"

I wanted to do the first joke of the new year:

So I asked myself "Any New Year Resolutions?"
And I said "Just one."
I asked "What's that?"
I answered, "To stop talking to myself"
Then I said "How's that going?"

Quote: Reg N @ 31st December 2015, 12:58 PM GMT

At the cannibal party;
"Enjoying yourself?"
"Yes, I'm having a ball!"

What did the cannibal say to Fergie? Eat me halfway.

A beautiful woman invited me to her party.
Unfortunately. it was the Liberal Democrats.

What kind of carpet do you find at an orgy?
Shag pile.

Quote: 404 Not Found @ 30th December 2015, 1:03 PM GMT

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/dec/30/screening-sperm-donors-dyslexia-clinic

Apparently sperm donation clinics are now refusing sperm from dyslexic donors.

The real reason they banned dyslexic donors was because the local Indian restaurant complained.

Donors were asked to go to the "Donation Room" to provide their sample.

The manager of "Tandoori Moon" restaurant was unavailable for comment.

I combed my hair into a mohican style and put safety pins in my clothes. I thought they wanted punks

At the sperm donation clinic, I asked the hot blonde on reception if she'd come into the little room and help me, and she did!
She took the lid off the jar.

(Sorry, modification of an old gag)

They recovered 200 disks that belonged to Gene Roddenberry. That was where he stored Data.

Piers Morgan took his car in to have the brakes fixed, but the mechanic made a huge mistake.
He fixed the brakes.