Hickory Nickory Nock
Nick's Mum was at t'dock
The clock struck six
Mum sucks them dicks
Hickory Nickory Nock

Nick Nock, Nick Nock, Nick Nock
The clock struck six
Mum sucks them dicks
Hickory Nickory Nock

Davey was once asked to put together the cast of 101 Dalmatians. When he found out it was just a prank, he had to file for bankruptcy due to a large outstanding debt at Pets R Us.

Nick thinks he has his own theme tune. He walks around singing it ...

"All them bitches and all them ho's
I get pussy like nobody knows"

Then he does his 'dance'

Torn between taking his private collection of Rustler magazine or his Gucci man boob reduction vest into camp on I'm a Celebrity get me out of here, Davey Jay sadly missed his flight to Oz and was replaced by Spandau front man Tony Hadley.

When Hildegard Titweavil isn't thinking up overly long and complicated names to use in forums he likes to go out on the pull. While he lacks in the results department, you can't say he's not enthusiastic. He has this big sign that he's made, which he walks around town holding and hollering the text ..

I WANT
TO PUT
MY PENIS
IN A LADY!

YOU CAN HAVE
A FREE BIRO!

Having lost visual contact with his reproductive gear some time ago, Davey Jay now resorts to taking selfies by flying his small drone between his legs several times a day.

The remote control vehicle streams live HD quality footage back to his tablet of the state of play which, unfortunately often results in sending out a search party to confirm things are actually still connected.

After being taken hostage in his East London flat, Pete Tong was persuaded to change his name to Hildegard Titweavil, which is Swedish for "Oxbridge Syndrome". This is where captives start reciting Monty Python when under duress, usually whilst cross dressing. If they start patronising Northerners, it's time to call an ambulance.

The last time Nick did his 'dance' he was in the Arndale centre, just near Next where he buys his gangsta clothes

It didn't go well, he accidentally fell down an escalator. When he finally got to the bottom, he lay on his back, murmuring his theme tune; 'all them bitches and them ho's' he said, or something like that. He said something about having loads of cats before ... Well, it's not clear, he either did his 'dance' or had a fit / passed out

Mikey88 comes from an extremely large family of Mikey's. Desperate to stand out, Mikey not only had a sex change (as did Mikey 13 and 43) but he paid top jonnie dollar for brown fur implants. He literally delivered the Mikey, no need to take it.

Stylee Ting Ting was originally called Stylee Ting Ting Ting, but one fell off and was eaten by a hamster.

Beaky loves his pet hamster, Ting

Mikey88 is an anagram of Mi8ke8y.

He also ate Beaky's hamster after using it's hide in his recent fur transplant. RIP Ting.

Wow!

The fabled, Stylee TingTing, Nick Nockerty, The Beaky, The Davey Jay and some guy with a crazy name, something like Hildeygard Titsforme (something that's hard to remember when you scroll down the page - that kind of name)

Wow! Again!

They're all together! These people, these legends! They treat this forum page like their therapy group. Davey Jay sucks his teeth. The guy with the crazy name just rocks backwards and forwards, Nick calls out for his mummy (She doesn't respond). Beaky? That guy is toying with everyone else. He's a secret genius. (He says to himself)

Stylee TingTing?

Now. There's a story!

They call her Ting! Ting! - She / He is stylish! She/ He wears all the best clothes. Shellsuits = 'Stylee'

BOOM! Ting Ting Be Styleeeeeee!

Stylee TingTing be stylish like a mother f**ker Yoooooooo!!!!

Mikey88 is a bit like WD40 he has many uses, found in most sheds and very good at loosening zips and jammed screws.

Strumpet

I once called Strumpet
My bit of crumpet.
She said it was derogative
And that it was her prerogative
to call herself names like that.
She was a feminist who'd laid a trap.