How good/funny are these?

Hello,

My one liners weren't really working out so I thought I'd give it a shot at a different type of comedy. Please could you critique these and tell me how good/bad/funny/unfunny they are. I am looking for ways to improve! Thanks!

I visited B&Q the other day and someone was advertising their decorating service. That isn't DIY. That is GSETDIBYALB, meaning Getting Someone Else To Do It Because You're A Lazy Bastard.

Do you reckon the guy who owns National Grid goes to bed, singing "I've got the power!"

There's a rock band called The Doors. Windows 7 was their idea.

An good idea, I small twist would be:

Why do Painters and Builders advertise their services in DIY Shops?
That must be about as effective as Advertising Life insurance in a funeral parlour!

just an idea?

I think you need to work on them a bit more, though I liked the national grid one there is something but it needs a rethink.

and of course the Doors are an ancient defunct rock group.

National Grid one has got legs. But I fear the legs fell off the B&Q joke.

Rather weak, I fear.

Quote: SamLowe @ 25th May 2015, 9:26 PM BST

Hello,

My one liners weren't really working out so I thought I'd give it a shot at a different type of comedy. Please could you critique these and tell me how good/bad/funny/unfunny they are. I am looking for ways to improve! Thanks!

I visited B&Q the other day and someone was advertising their decorating service. That isn't DIY. That is GSETDIBYALB, meaning Getting Someone Else To Do It Because You're A Lazy Bastard.

Do you reckon the guy who owns National Grid goes to bed, singing "I've got the power!"

There's a rock band called The Doors. Windows 7 was their idea.

Hi Sam, the trouble with these, IMHO, is that they are all ideas for jokes rather than actual jokes.

For instance, the first one, have you actually tried saying it out loud? How would you say "GSETDIBYALB" without it being incredibly clunky?

It would be much better if you could come up with a nice catchy acronym and then work it backwards.

The second one is, at this moment, just a slightly amusing thought, to make it a joke you need to make it something like...

It's a little known music fact that Snap's "I've got the Power" was recorded after they bought a controlling stake in the National Grid.

As for the third one, apart from Doors and Windows being vaguely connected there's no real logic behind this joke, why would a band called "The Doors" have invented "Windows 7"?

I know you might think I'm being unduly pedantic but jokes have to have a kind of internal logic, unless they are completely surreal.

There just isn't enough of a connection in the real world between The Doors and Windows 7, if there was a band called "The Glaziers" maybe there might be something.