Blind Tattoo Artist

Blind Tattoo Artist

(Customer walks into a tattoo parlour, mid-day, parlour is empty except from 1 employee, wearing blacked-out glasses)

Artist: (looks up from the counter, surprised a customer has come in) "Ah hello, what can I do for you?"

Customer: (slightly unnerved as he notices the artist is blind) "umm are any tattoo artists working today?"

Artist: "Of course there are, take a seat on that chair and I'll be over in a second" (points to closest chair, customer slowly walks towards it)

Customer: (trying to make sure the artist isnt blind, customer asks) "So what is the craziest tattoo you have ever seen?" (Emphasises 'seen')

Artist: (senses customer's discomfort) "listen, im blind, but I have made hundreds of tattoos and you have nothing to worry about, alright? I have never had an unsatisfied customer before and you won't be the first, so just relax.

Customer: (clearly becomes more comfortable and his confidence in the artist grows) "ok ok, sorry about that. Its amazing that you can still create art while blind" (smiles to artist)

Artist: "thanks, it has taken years of practice. So what would you like me to do for you?"

Customer: "can I get the names of my kids; rick and jessy?"

Artist: "Yes you can. How old are they both?" (Asks while preparing the equipment)

Customer: "rick is 10, jessy 7" (smiles, closing eyes on chair waiting for artist to start)

Artist: "Now this may hurt a little, but it'll be over quick, ok?"

Customer: "Ok, no worries. Do you mind if I get a quick nap? I haven't slept much last couple days"

Artist: "Not at all" (artist says, beginning to draw on the arm of the customer)

(Cut to 30 minutes later, customer wakes up as artist just finishes)

Artist: "Alright, that should be it finished" (artist smiles, placing equipment back on tray, standing up) "take a look in the mirror" (pointing to mirror)

Customer: (moves arm around, looking at the result) "what the f**k is this?" (Shouts in outrage)

Artist: "Its a dick and a pussy!" (Replies quickly) "You asked for a dick and a pussy to represent the creation of your two kids!" (Shouts back in anger)

Customer: "Are you f**king deaf? I asked for rick and jessy, the names of my two kids!"

Artist: "Did I not mention that I am blind and partially deaf?" (Replies, slightly worried)

Customer: "No you didnt! What am I supposed to do now with this on my arm?"

Artist: "Sorry, what did you say?"

I like the setting and the blind tattoo artists and the twist at the end. It made me smile

I like the idea but I wouldn't believe that someone would fall asleep whilst having a tattoo.

I'd end it at 'are you deaf?'

That's a neat joke, you can probably trim it and I'd make the last line, who said that

But its a neat twist on expectation

It's a nice idea, but a little too unbelievable.

Falling asleep is probably very unlikely to happen whilst having a tattoo and feels like a cop out to avoid the man not noticing what was happening with the tattoo.

The twist that he's deaf is neat, but would he really mishear the line that badly? The two lines bear virtually no relation to each other.

Also, you need to avoid putting so many directions/emphasis in the script. It takes the reader out of the dialogue.