I've just uploaded the 4th installment of The News NOT our weekly take on the news and think we're getting better but when you're in it you knows. Advice please.
Mum thinks this is rubbish! What do you think?
Sorry to be harsh but this needs a lot of work. It's too slow I think in terms of delivery, and becomes a bit boring. News is urgent and fast in pace, this is not. It's also a tad predictable in terms of content. Gary glitter as sex-ed minister? There's no misdirection here, making a pedophile a sex minister is a cheap joke, avoid them. it needs breaking up visually too - no news programme works in this way; there are guests, outside reports etc. try quickening the pace, and breaking up the content.
What makes spoof news funny is the over-sensationalisation of anything and
everything, wrapped up as entertainment. Watch 'the day today' in detail if you haven't, and also some of Charlie brookers observations. The news is funny retrospectively because it runs to a formula that is inherently daft. You've adopted a formula that has no resemblance to the real thing, so it's hard to engage with it as spoof news.
Sorry again to be harsh, but hope some of the comments help. Good luck!
No worries Wills I appreciate your honesty. I've watched many episodes of the daily show and john oliver and I agree with you. They do have a big team where as we're just 2 working home from although that doesn't excuse anything as if its not funny it ain't funny. Like I said when you're in its difficult to know. Question with taking advice because after all this is only episode 4 so we too are learning do you see any potential or is it a lame duck.
It's great you're giving it a go, and there's a few good lines in there. Don't give up, just condense it all and quicken the pace. Film a few simple vox pops to break it up, and reuse archive by giving it a different meaning. For instance, the first item about teenage pregnancy should be a quick headline, cut to vox pop with a teenager/archive (maybe it's a teen coming out of a toilet with a pregnancy test, believing that the toilet seat instantly got her pregnant there and then) Then find archive of a minister talking about something utterly unrelated to teenage pregnancy, but makes sense in this context to make it funny. Difficult to explain, but the day today does it well with prince Charles here in the first item.... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t2x4hMr2WLw I know there's only two of you, but it wouldn't take too much time or money to make a huge difference to the feel of it. Most of all, work on your writing. Think outside stereotypes that are obvious, and hone in on the subtleties of news and current affairs that are at odds with logical debate and don't give us the whole truth. Also, give your acting performances an honest appraisal in comparison to those who do this for a living. It's not easy, especially if you're comparing yourself to Chris Morris - but consider getting an actor in and concentrate on directing it. You'll see more easily what's funny and what's not in an instant. At the moment, both of you are a bit anodyne. Think about characterising each presenter like you would a sitcom character.
I liked the news stories but they went on a bit too long, it's makes good reading because the stories are well developed but in a video I think they need to be shorter and quicker. I read a few spoof news story sites but never seen them with video so that's a good angle.
It's still good but you seem to have lost direction a bit.
The propaganda element isn't brilliantly explained.
Why are they backing the state? Also like with earlier episodes keep a lot shorters you need to be aiming at 3-5 minutes an episode with each story done within a minute
The jokes are good, but stop f**king explaining them it never works
Quote: sootyj @ 12th February 2015, 7:42 PM GMTThe jokes are good, but stop f**king explaining them
This for me, pretty much. I like a lot of the concepts, they're funny, but they kind of get killed by the pace and vibe. How about basing the style on the 60 sec bulletins on BBC3, or the radio?
"The government has released statistics that property crime has fallen for the third consecutive year; Lord Callous of Denbighshire was quoted as saying 'Just proves that we're paying too much in benefits, if these layabouts can;t even be bothered to go out robbing'" - and straight on to the next one.
In fact, it could probably be shorter than that. Economy is the key here, I reckon, just like traditional gag writing.
Also you quite obviously heart Charlie Brooker's screen wipe et al.
So copy it a bit more.
Conservatives avoid tax
BANG
Joke about conservatives
BANG
Your mum joke
BANG
Didn't get it? Go watch the Chuckle Brother BANG your mum!
Why 240p? Upload better resolution.
Thanks guys for the advice. Its seems to be constructive and I'm thinking about all that has been said. Its good to get feedback and this is quite a big step up from being funny in the pub to putting it out there so I really appreciate your comments. I'm thinking maybe trying to do 1 a week is a bit ambitious are might try bi monthly although what's coming across is to shorten it and make it snappy. Big thank you for taking time out.