Tell us a joke Page 67

Good stuff guys but maybe all a little rude and not football

IM not saying Bob is a massive football fan. But Nancy was surprised on their first night together he presented her with the Arsenal colours and told her to get her kit on!

He shot himself in the foot that night.

In fact he was so excited by seeing her wear it... He scored a home goal.

Not footballer! Mine was!

Rude from a best mans speech?? Surely not :)

You didn't answer the main point is the Groom a goober or a spurs fan.?

checked out its a father of the bride speech, so rude but not so much

And the target? Otherwise just a general football joke. Which makes no sense.

I always said my daughter was a heart breaker. And here she is beautiful radiant and breaking my heart... By marring a Tottenham supporter.

(See what I mean, you need specific points of reference)

nowthat's the kinda thing he wants

dad supports spurs sons a gooner

There you go then :)

I did a best man speech over the weekend
There were a good few football references/jokes but they were more about the Groom than being generic.

I always thought a gooner was someone who pulled ridiculous faces as if undergoing the most gruesome agonies while looking at something almost to painful to watch. And Bob here told me ... no that's a gurner! A gooner means you're an Arsenal fan. I said... And the difference is?

@@@@@@@@

I remember once when Nancy was still a wee slip of a thing. What kind of man, should I marry do you think? She asked me as we picked up the jumpers we had been using for goal posts. A handsome one I said. And a successful man, a happy fellow with always a smile and a kind word for his wife. Learned, maybe not in books but in the ways of the world, so he can nurture her and protect her... And cherish her. But most importantly off all that he be a fan of the beautiful game of football. (Beat) well she got that wrong... Turns out he's an Arsenal supporter!

When (GROOM's NAME) said he had made the most important decision of his life and wanted my blessing, well of course I was delighted. Finally, he'd become a Spurs supporter. Only after I'd welcomed him into the family did he tell me he just wanted (BRIDE'S NAME)'s hand in marriage.

Well, nobody's perfect.

At first I wasn't too sure about (GROOM'S NAME)'s chances with my daughter, and not just because he's a Gooner. I mean, he's quite pretty to watch and sticks to his principles, but I thought he was a bit thin up top and lacking some depth to really challenge.

But as time's passed I've realised even if he wasn't everybody's favourite he's definitely top four material, he's financially astute and finally today after years of waiting patiently he got a trophy (BEAT) wife.
[alternative: (SHOWING A RING) some silverware ]

And if he can keep it up for another 8 years, he'll bloody deserve some more!

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 18th August 2014, 9:02 PM BST

if its for a wedding how about?

As many of you know "Grooms name" is a massive football fan and an avid follower of arsenal, well you will be pleased to know that married life can be compared to football. You should be fully committed every week, and make sure you score every weekend. Be sure you change ends at half time and don't put your tackle in too hard, or you might injure yourself.

I've put a cut down version of this one forward

Not rude then :) have to say.. And I am not bitter but sounds familiar.

Its a cleaned up version notorious

Did he like it?