If this was my script that opening scene with Tom and Steve would become the plot. Tom would find he has much more in common with this unemployed yet good-natured loser than he does his petty, sales-orientated colleagues.

Someone else already suggested it I think, but having that opening scene end with Tom downing cans of cider with Steve and quitting his job that way would be a lot funnier.

Basically, I want this sitcom to be about Tom and Steve. A smart yet under-achieving young man helping out a middle-aged, unemployed drunk. Scrap the Door to Door thing entirely.

Quote: Martin H @ 20th May 2014, 6:48 PM BST

Basically, I want this sitcom to be about Tom and Steve.

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Agreed.
Steve is a good character - a different worldview.
God knows what you do with him but he's leagues ahead of the other characters, who are just filler.

And as a general note, if you've gone two lines without advancing the plot - that's two lines too many.

Quote: Lazzard @ 20th May 2014, 6:53 PM BST

Agreed.
Steve is a good character - a different worldview.
God knows what you do with him but he's leagues ahead of the other characters, who are just filler.

And as a general note, if you've gone two lines without advancing the plot - that's two lines too many.

View original

Unless it's funny.

Or revealing about the character(s).

Well the characters are distinctive and some of the dialogue is very funny, especially the bit about the badgers

But it's 2 characters ping ponging dialogue back and forth with little plot and that won't hold for one episode.

Unless I dreamt about recent events. What is trivial about badger culling?

Notorious comedy can be about anything, you don't trivialise something by joking about it.

If you are using a subject matter as an immediate social reference, as a cipher if you like, it's probably best to pick more wisely. Badger culling is not shorthand for the most ridiculous thing in the world for salesmen to collect monies to fight against.

Quote: sootyj @ 21st May 2014, 9:05 AM BST

Notorious comedy can be about anything, you don't trivialise something by joking about it.

View original

If the trivialisation is the joke ... Then yes you do.

I'm not sure the badger culling is being mocked, it's more a sort of fixed point around which the characters hang their hats.

It doesn't have to be an inherently ridiculous charity.

See above

Then we'll have to go our separate ways on this, as I don't agree that he's trivialising them.

As it is I'd play the badger charity even straighter, as emphasises the comedy in the rest of the scene.

Ok. I don't think for one minute he was talking of the badger cull. Either was unaware or had forgotten about it.

Your second point is agreeing with me

Your second point is agreeing with me

MarcP I'm entirely lost this is like a riddle or one of your murder mysteries and I'm the hapless police inspector.

We're both agreeing he isn't mocking badgers or culls and that makes the whole thing funnier.

Well it's not funny to me. Just had a nice call from a Cafod charity salesman meanwhile, he seemed ver pleasant.

I understand and agree with Marc. Either make it entirely straight (like a paper making company - boring but totally believable) or go completely off the wall funny. Badgers are neither.

Does anyone do door to door sales anymore? If they do, they don't visit me!