Ukraine

I was shocked to find out that Ukraine is now the safest country to live in, in Europe! I asked a Ukrainian policeman why this was the case, he said because these days there's no Crimea.

Nice punchline, but bit of a tortured route to get there.

A Ukrainian bloke told me it's the safest country in Europe now.

"How come?"

"Simple" he said. "We've no Crimea now."

Crimea gags been done to death to be fair.

There's a stream of them. A Crimea river.

Yes, I know, that's antediluvian, too.

seems a lot of people been 'putin' about that theres no 'crimea' . do we need awful puns ? if we 'moscow' down that route then I definitely won't be 'lenin' it my support .

Crimea a river
By Justin Timberlov

You were my sun
You were my earth
But for your warm water I search
So you took a chance
And made other invasion plans
But I bet you didn't think that the tanks would come crashing down, no

You said you would not invade me
Why did you not leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Ukraine I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other Baltic State
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To Crimea, Crimea me a river
Crimea a river-er
Crimea a river
Crimea a river-er, yea yea

This is the song I was kinda ripping off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DksSPZTZES0&feature=kp