Should I perform this on stage - stand up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8djqYzABwoQ

I like your stage presence, nice tone, low key, no filler, signposting jokes without telegraphing them.

Problem is your jokes aren't great. They're well put together, clear punchline etc. I even like how you linked them together with the story about the holiday.

Just write some better ones.

I don't think I can :'(

Yes you can, nothing worth doing is easy.

I think it would be easier to find a less intelligent audience. I hear they're opening up more clubs in Wales?

Writing jokes isn't easy to begin with and the above joke isn't very good.
You just need to practise, it's bit like taking a shit.
You have to get it all out of your system, or it's not worth it.
And you're left full of shit.
Which with your excellent standup persona would be a shame.

so in short... should I perform it?
if its passable as a form of comedy then its useful enough to practice my stage time. if its got less laughs than (best not attempt another joke) than it'll do me no favours

you'll do ok, but your jokes are weak so you could do a lot better.

I wouldn't, but then I'm not you.

seriously though write some jokes, it takes practise, do the Blankety Blank question game.

I call my dog Google because.....

1 when I called him Jeeves he couldn't find anything.

2 because he's a searcher

3 because he's got multiple entries

all shit, but keep going and around 10 you might get a good punchline.

There are no shortcuts to stand up.

Go out and perform it, do more of what works and less of what doesn't, repeat until you're selling out arenas.

It's not rocket science but it is hard work and perseverance.

Hi,
Well done for recording this, it helps a lot to see how someone would perform on stage as well as the material.
I spend a lot of time at stand up nights especially armature ones like open mic nights and you have fallen into the same trap lots of people do, you don't know your material well enough!
some of your jokes would have worked much better if you had learnt every word off by heart! because the way you say a sentence and the timing is as important as the joke.
If you listen back to your video, there are to many times where you miss the punchline because of bad timing or bad delivery and or bad wording.
I can literally tell the same joke in two different ways and one will get a laugh the other wont, its very much about the presentation.
if I was you I would say start with what you have written but don't perform it yet.
Take every Joke look at it as a stand alone joke and see if it works and the best way to say it. try rewording it. once your happy with the way its written learn it off by heart and back to front, learn it so you know every word not just the idea of it, try telling it twice as fast as you want to perform it without messing up! only once you get this line perfect should you move on.
if you follow is advice, in a few months your material you have will be good enough to perform live, then you can start adding better jokes to your material using the same method and you will be good.
Good luck, I hope you stick with it.

cheers for the feedback

p.s I was pretty much just reading it out haha but a good a point non the less

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 21st April 2014, 2:09 PM BST

I spend a lot of time at stand up nights especially armature ones like open mic nights

I find I get a lot more support at armature standup nights.

I like the gag about going out for a fag ' I can say that because I don't smoke', that made me laugh. I also like the theme of my mum's gone on holiday, I think you should do the whole thing about that. Start at the beginning, why is she going on holiday? what happened to you while she was away and come a big crescendo at the end with her coming back and something happening. F*&k knows what, that's your job. What about your character? you're the underdog, can you come out on top in some way to add a big finish? only thoughts as I live in Australia and it's night time and I've had a few.

I was helping my mum look for holiday destinations, so we were on the internet looking at places and she said what about Australia? I said nah, you don't want to go to Australia. Australia is just like France. She said, oh, you mean because of the golden beaches, warm sea and tropical weather? I said 'no I mean because it's a big country full of c***s. (Tell that one in Earls Court!)

So she said what about Spain? I said f**k that, if it's greasy perverts, salmonella and the smell of shit your after, why not just nip down the local Indian and save yourself a few quid. (is that as racist as I think it is?)

Maybe your mum could be a beaten down, Shirley Valentine (Google it) type? She wants to go away to find herself etc. Find yourself? That won't be hard I can find you from a mile away, I just follow the smell of fish (or sh*t).

So when my mum came back from her holidays, I said so how was it? Did you do anything you'd never done before? She said yeah I sh*t meself in the swimming pool at the hotel.

She said, ooh it's all very romantic int it in Greece, even the food's sexy, I mean I couldn't get enough of that 'fetish' cheese.

been on the fosters? haha I'm sure my mum is going to appreciate all the effort