BOSS:
Romesh, you've been here for three weeks... and yet you've already managed to screw things up!

ROMESH:
I have? How?

BOSS:
By failing to keep your loony lefty thoughts to yourself.

ROMESH:
Such as...?

BOSS:
'Capitalism? More like crapitalism!' and 'I don't know about you, but I'm mad for political correctness!'

ROMESH:
Ah, THOSE thoughts.

BOSS:
I mean, to think them is one thing, but to actually put them in your monologue...

ROMESH:
Look, I know it was daft...

BOSS:
Then why do it?

ROMESH:
Well, because I thought the BBC was a vast, left-wing conspiracy.

BOSS:
It is. In fact, it's the vastest!

ROMESH:
Well then... what's the problem?

BOSS:
The problem is that conspiracy's don't succeed by being blatant.

ROMESH:
Look, I was just trying to make a good impression.

BOSS:
Yeah, well you failed. Epically!

ROMESH:
So, what happens now, then?

BOSS:
Well, until this blows over, you're gonna have to keep a low profile.

ROMESH:
What, lower than Radio 4xtra?

BOSS:
Ah, good point. Alright, you can stay on Newsjack, PROVIDING you lay off the Marxism!

ROMESH:
Piece of piss.

BOSS:
Oh, and what makes you so sure you can hold your tongue?

ROMESH:
Well listen, I'll be honest with you... you see, I'm actually more of a UKIP man.

SFX: SLAP ACROSS THE FACE

(CONT'D)
Hmm... I probably should've seen that coming!

END