Tell us a joke Page 20

Quote: Nick81 @ 4th February 2014, 1:02 PM GMT

The Justin Bieber joke is about the fact Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse both died of drug overdoses at 27.

Regardless, the joke had already been done many times.

Ah I think the problem is they're too far apart, I honestly had no recollection of how old Cobain was, when he got too stoned to differentiate between a pizza and a shotgun

Prince Charles has gone to lend an ear to those flooded in Somerset.

If he lends two they could have it baled out in no time.

I've just seen a bloke jump in the sea to save his dog that fell in.

If I were him though, I'd have taken my shades off first.

nice one

I just had to make my first ever complaint in a restaurant,
my fly soup was cold :(

Quote: Nick81 @ 4th February 2014, 2:42 PM GMT

I've just seen a bloke jump in the sea to save his dog that fell in.

If I were him though, I'd have taken my shades off first.

Like this one, made me chuckle at work which is a f**king miracle.

Didn't necknomination start during the French Revoloution

knock knock
who's there
day
day who
day who me say dayo daylight come and I want to go home

I've named my new dog SHARK. I thought it was ok until I lost him on a beach in California.

Quote: Mr Darkly @ 5th February 2014, 7:26 PM GMT

I've named my new dog SHARK. I thought it was ok until I lost him on a beach in California.

Now that's an old racist joke re-jigged.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 5th February 2014, 8:05 PM GMT

Now that's an old racist joke re-jigged.

Is it? Fancy re-jigging an old racist joke for today's youth, silly me.

I'm not saying those Facebook films are shit,

But they should have all gone straight to DVD.

My dad told me when he was a lad he had to walk 10 miles to school up a hill, 10 miles back, rain or snow.
He told me it taught him one important lesson.

Where the bus stop was.

I wanted to be a wealthy philanthropist when I grew up. Fell short of my goal and now I'm just pissed.

(I know that "pissed" in the US and UK different meanings but I think it works in either context.)

I don't get it.

Quote: sootyj @ 6th February 2014, 11:07 AM GMT

I don't get it.

The last syllable of "Philanthropist" sounds like "pissed".

So instead of being the wealthy philanthropist I set out to be, now I'm mostly pissed. So I could either be mostly angry or mostly drunk at failing in my childhood ambition.