Tell us a joke Page 9

The first time I met Rodger Hargreaves we had a Little Miss Understanding.

Quote: M Paterson @ 16th January 2014, 1:49 PM GMT

Here you go, some old groaners from my dusty archive:

So, the launch of my new book went well. I got it over the roof today.

My nan's new bungalow is pretty much perfect for her. There's just one flaw...

How many alchemists does it take to change a lightbulb into gold?

These are my favs. Made me chuckle!

Like that one. If it was me ( just personal preference) I would make it a 'lights-out' wanking 'contest'. But I suppose that's just me being picky.

I was shocked to read that 10 out of 2 of us are dyslexic.

Making jokes about dyslexia is not bog and it's not cleaver.

Dyslexic, dyslexic who, knock knock

Quote: danphobic @ 17th January 2014, 2:37 PM GMT

Like that one. If it was me ( just personal preference) I would make it a 'lights-out' wanking 'contest'. But I suppose that's just me being picky.

Ha ha, not sure what happened there, but I was referring to a post directly before that now doesn't exist, so it just looks like I am making an unusual request. I promise I'm not into that kind of thing!

Some absolute shocking jokes in here, is that the threads intention?

And some very good ones, the combination and having fun is the intention

why not share one of yours funny guy

I'll add to the poorly maintained comedy substation of shocking jokes:

In India, Spiders wishing to stream content live, must follow the web cast system.

Energy scientists have hired Robson Green to travel to japan, as they believe the waters around Fukushima are perfect for Nuclear Fission.

Quote: sootyj @ 22nd January 2014, 3:51 PM GMT

And some very good ones, the combination and having fun is the intention

why not share one of yours funny guy

I was asking a question that is all.

As for the funny ones, really?

Yup some of the funny ones were well funny

He that accuseth others usually is making a confession

Anyway I rather like this one I thought up

So I was doing a gig for Mormons and I said take my wife
And someone heckled me, which one.

Here's one I was considering trying to shift, but not now.

Dennis Rodman has sung Happy Birthday to Kim Jong Un this week. Kim said he shouldn't consider a change in Korea.

and yeah, where's your jokes anyway Nick frankie boyle 81?

I've 1000's, but whatever I post you will now inevitably pick apart. All I expected from a section like this on a comedy forum was a decent selection of gags, my mistake.

I'm new I have no emotional or sexual affiliation with the rest of the forum, yet, nice though they have been. I will not pick your jokes apart unless they obviously necessitate apart picking.