100 Original Jokes

Hi,

Did you hear about the joke writer called Bernard Morris who published a kindle book on Amazon entitled 100 Original Jokes and then put a few of the jokes on the British Comedy Guide forum to try and sell a few books?

I was admiring a chameleon in a pet shop. It was lovely. It changed from green to yellow to brown to orange to pink to red to purple to blue. I didn't know it was having a heart attack.

I went to a French restaurant. I ate ten plates of snails. I went home and felt sick. It took me four hours to reach the bathroom.

I invented a new dance that didn't quite catch on. Dotted Line Dancing.

I borrowed a book from the library on Time Travel. I returned it in 1437.

I went to the library and I put a paper frog on the desk, followed by a paper bird, a paper duck, a paper house, a paper dog and a paper aeroplane. The librarian said, "What's all this?" I said, "I'm returning that book I borrowed on Origami."

I returned a book to the library - How Clean Is Your House? The librarian said, "Look at the dust on this!"

I've started growing my own vegetables. At the moment I have two varieties of peas - front garden and back garden.

Bernard Morris

What you're going to get is people telling their jokes about your jokes. I wouldn't stoop so low.

Did you here about the guy who published his joke book on the internet?

It was full of on-liners

(You can thank me later Whistling nnocently )

Is it available for kindling?

No,you did read it right... :)

Quote: AndyGilder @ September 20 2013, 1:40 PM BST

Is it available for kindling?

No,you did read it right... :)

That's not the way they make the Kindle Fire. I keep telling you.

The chameleon gag is quite good but on this occasion I am sorry to inform you, you were unsuccessful in your application as 'book seller' but we would like to take this opportunity to wish you every success in the future

I never wanted to be a joke writer anyway.

The snail one was very funny Bernard.

It took me five years to write that one.

100 one liners is not enough for a book is it ?
I might buy the book if you wrote 10000 of them. If you ate some horsemeat or leopard you would throw them out in no time.

My favourite was the one about the peas but I liked most of them.