Unable to understand the crucial part Page 2

Quote: Horseradish @ August 24 2013, 4:10 AM BST

Laughing at or laughing with?

Often uncomfortable situations are shared. I've had a lot of laughs with people standing in torrential rain watching bands. The humour is in the mutual irrationality. Even as an individual, alone, there can be humour in the daft things one does. That is "with" rather than "at" too unless infallibility is considered essential.

Oh I agree, I wasn't being serious though. I laugh with myself all the time, and jokes at ones own expense are definitely acceptable if you do them from a sense of comfort. That's what I wasn't getting with this book excerpt the poster shared was a little too negative that someone with low self-esteem may actually dio quite a lot of harm to themselves I think by going that route.

Quote: zooo @ August 24 2013, 1:09 PM BST

You can't really learn to have a sense of humour, can you? You already have one. There must be things you find funny?

This. I don't think a book can give you a sense of humour anymore than it can make you an interesting person. There might be tips, but comedy isn't an intellectual exercise it's more than that, isn't it? I think what you're asking for Shad is to increase your sense of humour? I agree with the others, watch as much comedy as you can and you'll start to see what you like and don't like. I've also found it comes down to understanding, if soemone is erm, innocent to the world they won't find anything funny (or worse, they'll find silly things funny.)

I do have a sence of humour. I do make people laugh. Occasionally.

I don't mind not being able to make people laugh all the time, but I feel as though that I need that little knowledge of creating a joke, or make an funny observation to break the ice (not that I'm a shy person, though). The feeling when you're just sitting there with 10-15 other people on a long bench just make me think: "Cmon, say something funny to break the ice - and don't let it be random!".

I want to be able to say something funny, based on current situations and afterwards let that lead up to an answer or question from the person I'm talking to - thus creating a conversation

I daily see people that are able to continously keep a spark of humour in their conversation. They always have a good answer for everything (something funny, generally), and they're able to stretch the conversation after a funny input.

Usually when I have something funny to say I'm not able to continue. I just put it out there and that's it.

I find it hard to explain.

I'm also a bit lost as to "look at comedy - that'll help". I've been watching, and still am watching, comedy for a long period of time. But what I don't do is to learn. I just watch it for the purpose of getting a good laugh.

Some people don't have the knack I'm afraid. I'm terrible at telling stories, I butcher them completly. What I do to add humour to a conversation is look at the person I'm interacting with and see what signals they're giving me. I work currently in customer service and so when I'm serving on the counter or in the bar I often get chit chatting with the customers and you'll get a sense from them whats appropriate and innapropriate. Observational humour works well in this setting. But it depends on the people you're dealing with and what they find funny.

I think being yourself is the best thing.

Quote: zooo @ August 24 2013, 1:09 PM BST

You can't really learn to have a sense of humour, can you? You already have one. There must be things you find funny?

Apparently they tried this in post war West Germany, they thought it might finally be a good idea to try and teach kids the importance of looking on the light side of life, given the previous 50 years. 60 plus years later and they still haven't produced a decent comedy, AFAIK, so I think you can say the experiment failed.

I haven't met any really funny Germans but I've met dryly humourous ones, they definitely have a sense of humour, a bit dark and old fashioned maybe. And like the Japs, who don't inherently have one at all, the results can look they've tried too hard. The Japs have tried really hard to grow one, but all they've come up with is sadistic game shows. :) Bless them.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ August 24 2013, 5:04 PM BST

The Japs have tried really hard to grow one, but all they've come up with is sadistic game shows. :) Bless them.

My favourite is the one where the players have to swim with jelly fish, catch one, rip off the tentacles and cook it in a timed sushi chef competition. Good times.

To be honest, I also got that book and got stuck around the setup generator, in which you should twist your statement: if you have "my wife is a bad cook" - set it up as "my wife is a good cook"... and what then??? That's something I didn't get at all.

Speaking of the origin of humour, I can say that all what's funny is about negativity, 'cause it's like having a mental machine that runs on griefs and sorrows, producing laughs and smiles. People wouldn't be able to fight wars without humour, as a piece of paradox.

Humor life brings many happy

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ August 24 2013, 5:04 PM BST

I haven't met any really funny Germans but I've met dryly humourous ones, they definitely have a sense of humour, a bit dark and old fashioned maybe. And like the Japs, who don't inherently have one at all, the results can look they've tried too hard. The Japs have tried really hard to grow one, but all they've come up with is sadistic game shows. :) Bless them.

"When they go round the corner they are being destroyed" - in flat, monotone German, with no emotion whatsoever. <- <- my mate's German father on waiting for a bus that never came while tons of others went the other way. It was the stereotypically German delivery that made it hilarious.

Anyway, when it comes to being funny in real life conversations, I don't know if it's that important. And surely it has to do with your personality? I can't do witticisms or puns - I'm really, really bad at that stuff. The only way I make people laugh in real life is with imagery, because usually what makes me laugh is what I'm seeing in my head. Or sometimes I just act like a three year old and people laugh then too. I'm not sure if it's "with" me, though.

I would have thought the key to making other people laugh is just sharing what's funny to you? And if nothing strikes you as funny, then don't worry about making people laugh! Just talk to them instead.

Quote: Tim Azure @ September 24 2013, 10:15 AM BST

"My wife is a good cook, she knows the correct temperature that water can be burnt..." ?

very good

It sounds like a terrible book.