- Bill Fraser, Raymond Huntley, David Battley, Dennis Price, John Ronane, Richard Wattis, Roy Kinnear, Sue Lloyd and others
- Peter Lewis
- John Robins
- Michael Carreras
Local funeral directors Holroyd and Bulstrode are overjoyed when they get the chance to send off their long-standing rival, leaving competition only from the Co-op. Their celebrations are short-lived, however, when they learn that the business has been bought by a newcomer to the area.
Soon finding business on the wane, Bulstrode takes young apprentice Percy out to investigate what their new competitor is offering. They're soon shocked by what they find: plush surroundings, automated machinery, and slick salesmanship. Not only un-British, it is surely blasphemous!
However, not all is what it seems: their new business rivals are awaiting a shipment of cigarettes from overseas concealed inside a coffin; and it's certainly not tobacco that's rolled up inside them!
Meanwhile, when an important local businessman dies suddenly whilst enjoying his money in Monaco, his family and firm come straight to the more established Holroyd to make arrangements.
With the stakes high for both firms, neither can afford for anything to go awry. But a careless railway porter looks set to throw quite a large spanner into the works.