Small-time Northern businessman Keith Lemon gets himself in a pickle when he invests heavily in his own useless invention, the Securipole, putting in a massive production order with Evil Steve. After his product dives at the Invention Convention, he does a deal with a fellow inventor and takes on a quirky but revolutionary mobile phone, but this too proves a hard sell.

However, things take a turn when he meets a man calling himself 'The Fixer', who secures Keith a slot on David Hasselhoff's prime-time TV chat show. In the pressure of the spotlight, he zests up the phone by sticking a lemon sweet on the back and suddenly experiences overnight success, becoming a worldwide sensation with a shedload of money, rubbing shoulders with celebrities - and even dating Kelly Brook.

However, Keith has forgotten about his friends and debts back home, complete unaware that an angry Evil Steve has kidnapped girlfriend Rosie. When the lemon phone business begins to turn sour, he realises he must return north and sort out the life he'd run away from.