| Roy Kinnear |
Benny U. Murdoch |
| Katy Manning |
Hermione Longhorn |
| Anna Quayle |
Diva Actress (Reverend Mother) |
| Christopher Timothy |
Harris Tweedle |
| Terence Edmond |
Clive Potter |
| Michael Armstrong |
Denis Morrison |
| Stephen Riddle |
Simon |
| Richard Caldicot (as Richard Caldicott) |
Ambrose Cream |
| Beth Porter |
Billie Harris |
| Jeremy Hawk (as Jeremy Hawke) |
Vernon |
| Rosalind Knight |
Lady Longhorn |
| Diane Langton |
Gladys Armitage |
| Lloyd Lamble |
The Bishop |
| Christopher Biggins |
Jeremy Longhorn |
| Gordon Tanner |
Big Dick |
| Sheila Bernette (as Sheila Burnette) |
Casting Girl |
| George Moon |
Night Watchman |
| Jonathan Adams |
Lord Coltwind |
| Max Mason |
Dave |
| Christopher Neil (as Chris Neal) |
Brendan |
| Stephen Marsh |
Rudolph |
| Prudence Drage |
Millicent Bindle |
| Rayner Bourton (as Raynor Burton) |
Johnny |
| Tony Sympson |
Grandfather |
| Beatrice Shaw |
Grandmother |
| Jenny Short |
Maggie |
| Mike Worsley |
Charlie |
| Nicholas Young |
Deadeye Dick |
| Lewis Barber |
Mexican Pete |
| David Toguri |
Kung Fu Artist |
| Dave Carter |
Laboratory Man |
| Connie Brodie |
Royal Personage |
| Bill Maelor-Jones |
Cinema Manager |
| Graham Ashley |
Projectionist |
| Stephanie Cole |
Traffic Warden |
| Mary Millington |
Traffic Warden Auditionee |