British Comedy Guide

Do The Right Thing.

Can You Do The Right Thing?

Do The Right Thing is a podcast in which comedians are asked what they would do in certain situations. Here's a quiz to see if YOU can outsmart the comedians and work out the right thing to do in some weird and wonderful scenarios. Simply pick the best answer from the multiple choices below.

All of these questions have been taken from previous episodes of Do The Right Thing and at least one answer in each case is correct - the other answers come from the comedians' diseased minds. Can you spot the right thing to do?

1. Buried Treasure

Do The Right Thing

You go for a survival weekend with Ray Mears. You both set up camp and then Ray trots off to find you a nice badger with a side of hay for dinner, leaving you to dig out the toilet box. As you do so, you discover a hoard of Saxon coins. Kerching! But what is the right thing to do if you find buried treasure?

2. Psychopath's Dinner

Do The Right Thing

You are walking through a car park when a man asks you to help him lift a sofa into the back of his van. How can you refuse? But oh no, he clunks you on the head and locks you in his basement because he's actually a psychopath and wants to eat you. But what is the right way to dissuade a psychopath from killing you?

3. Unwanted Erection

Do The Right Thing

(NB If you aren't already, get in the mindset of someone who has a penis and finds 'hot chicks' alluring) You decide to start a business selling things with 'Keep Calm and Carry On' written on them. All that's left is to secure a start up loan from the bank. But oh no, the loans manager is one hot chick and you get an erection. You know if she spots it you don't stand a chance of getting the money. But what is the right way to get rid of an unwanted erection?

4. Buried Alive

Do The Right Thing

You're in a posh restaurant when you choke on an olive. The last thing you see before passing out are tears running down your loved ones' faces. When you finally awake you find yourself in a pitch black confined space. Oh no! Your family thought you were dead and have had you buried! So what is the right thing to do if you are accidentally buried alive?

5. Blocked Toilet

Do The Right Thing

You have been invited to a dinner party by someone you want to impress - but their cooking is awful. So you decide to hide the food in a napkin and flush it down the toilet. But uh oh disaster - it causes a blockage. What is the right thing to do in this situation?

6. Forgotten Name

Do The Right Thing

You meet someone at a bar, and, having loose morals, agree to go back to their hotel for 'funtimes'. Unfortunately you're so drunk you pass out in front of BBC News 24 before anything happens. The next morning you're mortified and want to apologise, but you've forgotten their name! So what is the right thing to do if you wake up next to someone whose name you don't remember?

7. Flu Pandemic

Do The Right Thing

You find a monkey in the street and hide it under a hat - intending to take it to the nearest zoo. On the way there you are stopped by a policeman. The monkey, sensing danger, removes the hat and sneezes at the policeman. But unbeknown to you, that bloody monkey was the carrier of a new influenza mutation that rapidly spreads across the globe. So what is the right way to survive a flu pandemic?

8. Naughty Cat

Do The Right Thing

It's your birthday! Congratulations. But no one has remembered. You're feeling very sorry for yourself when you hear your cat in the kitchen. Surely the cat won't let you down, not on this special day. But what has he got you. A Wii Fit? A Wowcher for a meal at Gordon Ramsey's restaurant? NO. The stupid prick has brought you a collection of dead mice and birds. AGAIN! But what is the right way to stop your cat bringing you dead things?

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