Hi. My name is Billy Kirkwood... I'm a comedian from Scotland. I'm a big haired comedy/wrestling fan and geek, often described as a 'tattooed hobbit', and I love you. I also have the attention span of a four year old... this took ages to do.

What?

Nevermind. Notice I didn't say I'm a Scottish comedian.

Ooo neither you did... Why's that?

Why's that? I hate getting defined by nationality. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fiercely proud Scotsman, but like many a person in the modern era I'm not defined by my nationality and neither, I believe, is comedy. There's no such thing as an English Comedian, American Comedian, Angolan Comedian... we're just comedians. Comedy fans, gag jockeys, joke junkies, brothers (and sisters) in arms - whatever you want to call us: funny is funny.

Okay that's out the way.

But why bring this up Billy?

Steady on Velma I'm just getting to that.

I want to tell you a little bit about the Scottish Comedy World and why you're about to fall in love with the people in it.

The scene here is Scotland is a delicious mix of new acts, working comics and veterans, all cramming onto bills together. It thankfully seems to be a great training ground for future stars. Due to the limited number of gig opportunities here in Scotland, the ability to adapt your style and improvise to the crowd is learned fast... or you are very quickly left behind, especially as audiences here in Scotland don't mess about.

Scotland is at a fascinating zenith just now with a huge variety of styles, talents, backgrounds and nationalities taking to our stages and performing to amazing audiences - and some shite ones I'll admit. Every single night the scene becomes more cosmopolitan and diverse than perhaps ever before. An influx of new talents emerging almost daily gives Scottish-based acts a new fun voice that see's the fog of the mythical stereotype of the 'bunnet' wearing loud mouth 'Scottish Comedian' shouting "Jings", "Steak bakes", "Neds" and "Fannies" dispersed...

Don't believe me?

Meh

WTF? I though we were close. Anyway...

Okay consider our rich legacy of talent behind us. The likes of Billy Connolly, Chic Murray, Arnold Brown, Fred MacAulay, Stu Who, The Krankies and, of course, more contemporary acts like Jerry Sadowitz, Frankie Boyle, Danny Bhoy to name but a few... yes, that's right, I said The Krankies. See them in panto and I dare you not to laugh.

These names now inspire a whole new generation, some already breaking through to the next level. The Kevin Bridges, Daniel Sloss's, Susan Calman's of this world. This is just the tip of the iceberg, as many more amazing comics are bubbling under getting ready to take their place on a bigger stage.

Alright Billy, enough man. You're a positive fella ain't ya.

Yes, yes I am.

So is everyone else in Scotland then?

No. Don't be silly, we're in Scotland after all.

AHA! That's a stereotype

DAMN IT!

But I'm up for checking out more, if everything's so good...

Nice one.

And who should I look out for?

Glad you asked.

Of course I'd have to point to you the aforementioned clubs and pubs - just check your local listings. The Edinburgh and Glasgow comedy festivals bring in talents from all across the world - yes, true, the international talents and 'folk off the telly' are the big draws - but it's the home grown talents that keep that bad boy ticking along the other 52 weeks of the year.

BUT if you'd rather cut through the wanky-ness that Edinburgh can some times be and would rather just see comedy showcased, then why not check out the Comedy Tent again at this years Rockness?

Cheap plug?

Best kind!

So what's it like?

Each year those crazy mofo's at GetComedy cram many rabid festival goer's into the Comedy Tent and put on one hell of a show. For three days solid the comedy tent is jumping with plenty of never to be repeated un-supervised festival shenanigans (what happens in Rockness stays in Rockness... or ends up on YouTube). Some of some of best up-and-coming talents share the stage with some our brightest and best comedians from Scotland and beyond.

So who are the emerging talents to keep an eye out for? Well many of them are well travelled and might not be names yet, but soon will be. From maniacal comedy ringmasters like Billy Kirkwood, Scott Agnew and Alan Anderson, to some of our very best like princes of comedy darkness Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe III and Mark Nelson, and legit legends like Parrot, internet phenomenon 'The Wee Man' Neil Bratchpiece and, of course, young master Sloss will be stopping by.

Not forgetting our true up-and-comers from the brilliant Scott Gibson, Darren Connell, Eddie Cassidy, Chloe Philip, Stuart Mitchell to name but a few, all of whom have been cutting their teeth on the stages of Scotland (and beyond) and are looking to be some silliness in the festival... and to act as the best hangover cure for the morning (HA!, okay, afternoon) the next day.

Still interested?

Hell yes!

Well grab your iron bru and camping gear and follow me.

Iron Bru... Stereotype!

Damn it! Kirkwood out!

RockNess Festival takes place on 8th to 10th June in the beautiful surroundings of the Scottish Highlands and features a staggering line-up including Biffy Clyro, Mumford & Sons, Deadmau5, Friendly Fires, Ed Sheeran, Justice and Tim Minchin! Winner of the 'Best Small Festival' at this year's NME Awards, RockNess is firmly established as one of the UK's best festivals.