QI. Image shows from L to R: Alan Davies, Sandi Toksvig. Copyright: TalkbackThames
QI

QI

  • TV panel show
  • BBC Two / BBC One / BBC Four
  • 2003 - 2024
  • 312 episodes (21 series)

Panel game that contains lots of difficult questions and a large amount of quite interesting facts. Stars Sandi Toksvig, Stephen Fry and Alan Davies.

Episode menu

Series B, Episode 5 - Bears

Brown bear running

Extra Tasks

- Each panel is given a board and some fridge-magnet letters to make up some interesting expressions.

- QI is a queer idea (Stephen)
- Quim (Jo)
- Vagina doom (Alan)
- Fox (Alan)
- I love a fry up (Jo)
- Frodo lap shame (Bill)
- Sit look rub panda (Alan)
- Put Smarties tubes on cats legs make them walk like a robot (Jimmy, using all his letters)
- Gay elf romp (Bill)
- Tiberius can look mad (Alan)
- Oh bum (Jo)
- Lady bush trap (Jo, not shown in broadcast)
- Koala soup (Alan, not shown in broadcast)
- Golum kix habit (Bill, not shown in broadcast)
- Al Quaeda goose pet (Bill, not shown in broadcast)
- Sex up Fry (Alan, not shown in broadcast)

Topics

- Koalas make 'a kind of soup' in their backside. They are the only animal to make a kind of soup or pap. They are marsupials, not bears.

- Tangent: Wombats have cubical faeces.

- Tangent: Koalas, unlike scientists, can tell the age of a eucalyptus leaf. It has to be between the ages of 12-18 months. If it is too young, it has no value to the koala. Koalas sleep between 20-22 hours. "Koala" means "No water" in the Dharug language.

- For seven months, bears do not urinate or defecate. They recycle urea as protein so they do not need to urinate. They mix hair and faeces to make a sort of butt plug called a "Tappet", which blocks the anus up for the winter. She-bears give birth during the winter. They can give birth to 4 different cubs to 4 different fathers. (Forfeit: Woods)

- Toothpaste makes bears go mad with desire. You would be safer carrying a freshly butchered elk leg. Dogs also go mad for toothpaste, but dog toothpaste is flavoured with beef and peanut butter.

- The animal with huge teeth and one facial expression is the giant panda. They have the biggest teeth of any mammal. (Forfeit: Janet Street-Porter)

- Tangent: Although a bear, the giant panda was originally classified a raccoon. It also was designated a carnivore, even though everyone knows it only eats bamboo. It is the only bear that does not hibernate, because it has to eat bamboo for 12 hours a day to get all its nutrients. A panda penis points backwards.

- There are 5,000 different uses for bamboo. For example, it is used as scaffolding in Hong Kong. It has a tensile strength greater than steel and can grow up to 4 feet a day. Bamboo is a type of grass.

- Tangent: Bill once owned a cactus that flowered once every 25 years. It flowered within 2 weeks of him buying it.

- Thomas Edison invented the word "Hello". It first appears in a letter written by him, and he thought the word sounded very clear. Before, the word was "Hullo" which was an act of surprise. Alexander Graham Bell's favourite method of answering the telephone was to say "Ahoy-hoy". In a poll in the Evening Standard, Hello and Ahoy-hoy where the two most popular words to use when answering the phone respectively.

- Tangent: Edison believed that 15 tiny little people lived in the brain, and that when you died they would move into someone else's brain. He did not invent the light bulb, but he did use bamboo as a filament.

- Tangent: "Floccinaucinihilipilification" means "The act of assessing something is worthless".

- Tangent: Due to government regulations, Stephen will probably be the last "Pipe Smoker of the Year". Bill pointed out that, in an article for The Chap magazine, Stephen had claimed that the act of having a pipe gives off a sign of trustworthiness.

General Ignorance

- Dinosaurs beginning with "B" include the brachiosaurus, barosaurus, barapasaurus, bagaceratops, becklespinax, byronosaurus, bambiraptor and Barney. The brontosaurus was the misidentified body of an apatosaurus with the head of a camarasaurus, so there was no such dinosaur. (Forfeit: Brontosaurus)

- A chicken can live for two years without a head. The most famous example of this was Mike the Headless Chicken. He was fed with an eyedropper and there was a song made about him.

- Tangent: It takes a live chicken 55 minutes to become a Pret a Manger sandwich.

- Penicillin was discovered by Ernest Duchesne. He discovered that Arab stable boys rubbed mould on themselves to get rid of saddle sours. The Institute Pasteur rejected his claims, but in 1949 he was posthumously credited for re-discovering it. Ironically, he died of TB. If he has penicillin he would have lived. (Forfeit: Alexander Fleming)

- Out of Arthur Conan Doyle, Niels Bohr, Dmitri Shostakovich and Albert Camus, Shostakovich is the odd one out. He was an official football referee, although Shostakovich was for most of the time a volleyball referee. All the others were first team goalkeepers - Conan Doyle for Portsmouth (originally under the pseudonym "A. C. Smith"), Bohr for the University of Copenhagen 1st team and Camus for the University of Algiers. Conan Doyle later played right-back for Portsmouth under his real name.

Deleted Scenes

- Tangent: Jo is angry about not being filmed correctly when she tests her buzzer.

Scores

- Jimmy Carr: 15 points
- Bill Bailey: 8 points
- Jo Brand: -5 points
- Alan Davies: -35 points

Broadcast details

Date
Friday 29th October 2004
Time
10:30pm
Channel
BBC Four
Length
30 minutes

Repeats

Show past repeats

Date Time Channel
Saturday 17th July 2010 8:20pm Dave
Friday 20th August 2010 9:40pm Dave
Thursday 9th September 2010 9:00pm Dave
Friday 8th October 2010 7:20pm Dave
Saturday 22nd January 2011 8:20pm Dave
Wednesday 6th April 2011 11:20pm Dave
Sunday 24th July 2011 8:20pm Dave
Monday 9th January 2012 10:00pm Dave
Tuesday 10th January 2012 1:20am Dave
Friday 30th March 2012 9:40pm Dave
Saturday 31st March 2012 12:20am Dave
Sunday 3rd June 2012 6:40pm Dave
Monday 1st October 2012 5:20pm Dave
Monday 1st October 2012 11:40pm Dave
Sunday 30th December 2012 2:40pm Dave
Sunday 5th May 2013 3:45pm Dave
Tuesday 15th October 2013 11:00pm Dave
Wednesday 16th October 2013 2:15am Dave
Wednesday 18th December 2013 1:40pm Dave
Wednesday 18th December 2013 11:40pm Dave
Sunday 16th February 2014 12:20pm Dave
Sunday 16th February 2014 7:20pm Dave
Tuesday 13th May 2014 12:40pm Dave
Tuesday 13th May 2014 5:40pm Dave
Sunday 31st August 2014 2:20pm Dave
Friday 27th February 2015 11:05pm Dave
Friday 17th April 2015 11:40pm
60 minute version
Dave
Wednesday 22nd July 2015 11:40pm Dave
Thursday 26th November 2015 9:40pm Dave
Saturday 19th March 2016 1:00am Dave
Saturday 19th March 2016 8:40pm Dave
Wednesday 13th July 2016 10:00pm Dave
Saturday 13th August 2016 7:40pm Dave
Wednesday 25th January 2017 3:20pm Dave
Wednesday 25th January 2017 7:20pm Dave
Thursday 24th August 2017 12:00am Dave
Thursday 24th August 2017 2:00am Dave
Saturday 7th October 2017 1:20am Dave
Thursday 14th December 2017 1:20am Dave
Thursday 14th December 2017 10:20pm Dave
Monday 22nd January 2018 11:00pm Dave
Tuesday 23rd January 2018 1:00am Dave
Tuesday 20th February 2018 1:00am Dave
Thursday 5th April 2018 12:00am Dave
Thursday 5th April 2018 2:00am Dave
Wednesday 19th September 2018 12:20am Dave
Monday 10th December 2018 7:20pm Dave
Tuesday 25th June 2019 11:40pm Dave
Wednesday 26th June 2019 8:20pm Dave
Wednesday 5th February 2020 11:00pm Dave
Thursday 6th February 2020 1:00am Dave
Thursday 28th May 2020 3:20pm Dave
Thursday 28th May 2020 8:20pm Dave
Friday 10th July 2020 12:55am Dave

Cast & crew

Cast
Stephen Fry Host / Presenter
Alan Davies Regular Panellist
Guest cast
Bill Bailey Guest
Jo Brand Guest
Jimmy Carr Guest
Writing team
Sophie Johnstone Researcher
Molly Oldfield Researcher
John Mitchinson Question Writer
Piers Fletcher Question Writer
Kate Staples Researcher
Garrick Alder Researcher
Dan Schreiber Researcher
Production team
Ian Lorimer Director
John Lloyd Producer
Phil Clarke Executive Producer
Mark Freeland Executive Producer
Nick King Editor
Jonathan Paul Green Production Designer
Howard Goodall Composer

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