THIS PROGRAMME HAS BEEN CANCELLED AND WILL NOT HAPPEN.
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Next year it will be 18 years since Richard Richard "Richie Richard" Richard and Eddie Hitler last graced our television screens, in hit sitcom Bottom.
Long enough for a generation to be born, learn to walk and talk, grow up, go to school, nearly learn to read, leave school and register for job seekers' allowance all without having experienced the wit and wisdom of two of comedy's greatest characters.
All that is about to change as we find out what happened to two titans of comedy. Are they still living in one of the dirtiest and least hygienic flats uncondemned by Health and Safety? Are they still drinking neat furniture polish whilst hitting each other over the head with large metal objects, setting fire to each other as they seek to impress gullible members of the opposite sex, and each other? Or are they down the pub?
No, they are abandoned, lost, shipwrecked on the tropical hell hole that is Hooligan's Island and they are still hitting each other over the head with large metal objects, still chasing women, even though there are none on the island, and still waiting for that job seekers allowance cheque as they distil something quite like alcohol, only worse.
And they are back on BBC Two in 2013 for six new episodes, starring Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson. Be afraid, be very afraid and then just a little bit bilious.
Rik Mayall says: "How much am I getting paid? Are there any birds in it? And that horrific arse-brained Edmondson's not in it again is he? Oh, God help me... no, no, alright then, I'll do it. That useless, foul smelling waste of space and oxygen is really going to get it this time. This is the big one. Tell the audience to brace themselves."
Ade Edmondson said: "It's been a while since I last worked with that complete b****** Rik Mayall and I'm very much looking forward to bashing him about the head with various blunt objects. It's the only language he understands."