It's Joanna's 48th birthday, something she is not keen on anyone else knowing about. Alan gives him a locket as a present, but there is something unpleasant inside it. Caroline discovers a league table of all the women in the hospital made by Guy, and Martin has trouble with his mother... whoever she is.

It's Joanna's birthday - a fact she is quite happy to hide. However she is delighted when she receives a locket from who she thinks is Lyndon - but in fact turns out to be Statham. Her disgust increases tenfold when she learns just exactly what the deposit is that Alan has put inside it.

Elsewhere, Guy decides to assemble a fanciability league table consisting of all the female staff, which Caroline is less than happy about (especially as her marks were lower than Angela's) and decides to get her revenge. We also learn that Martin is Joanna's son (something which she tries her best to deny).