Hordes Of The Things. Copyright: BBC
Hordes Of The Things

Hordes Of The Things

  • Radio sitcom
  • BBC Radio 4
  • 1980
  • 4 episodes (1 series)

A radio series parodying J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, written by John Lloyd and Andrew Marshall. Stars Frank Middlemass, Paul Eddington, Simon Callow, Maggie Steed, Jonathan Lynn and more.

Character guide

Radox the Green

Wizard.   Played by: Frank Middlemass

Radox (pronounced Ra-dox) is a wizard whose task is to find a hero who can safe the land of Albion. He finds one in the shape of Agar, and uses him in order to safe the land, while he is not busy organising conferences of other wizards.

King Yulfric the Wise III

King of Albion.   Played by: Paul Eddington

Yulfric is far from wise. He is constantly making concessions with the forces of evil, while also visiting the peasants in secret. These visits are in order for him to have sex with woodcutter's daughters and to practice other unusual habits.

Crown Prince Veganin

Crown Prince of Albion and Warrior.   Played by: Simon Callow

Veganin is a proud warrior who will do anything to stop the wrath of The Evil One, despite Yulfric's claims that they just want peace. Veganin therefore goes out on what he sees as a hero's mission to rid evil from Albion.

Queen Elfreda

Queen of Albion.   Played by: Maggie Steed

The wife of Yulfric, Elfreda is constantly annoyed by her husband's visits to the woodcutter's daughter, as well as his tendency to allow seemingly evil people to advise him. While she tries to make Yulfric see sense, more often than not she fails to get her message across.

Golin Longshanks

Dwarf.   Played by: Jonathan Lynn

Golin is the tallest dwarf in the whole of Middle-Sea, hence why people call him 'Longshanks'. The reason he is so tall is because of a routine of exercises given to him by Radox. He is also a glutton, eating just about anything that he can lay his hands on. He serves as an assistant to Agar.

Agar son of Athar

AKA: Agar son of Yulfric.  Woodpoacher; Hero.   Played by: Christian Rodska

Agar is a simple woodpoacher who Radox believes can save the Kingdom of Albion. Radox sends him to find the mighty Summontrumpet which will bring forth six heroes who can save the Kingdom. Along his journey, he discovers he is of noble birth, being Yulfric's illegitimate son.

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