George

George has a difficult relationship with his family. He is frustrated at being married to Beverley and also disappointed at his inability to avoid premature ejaculation with her. His two children, who he never wanted, provide with him with little comfort and he remains distant and uncaring with both of them.

Of much more interest to him is his work as a professor which causes him to analyse mundane things in everyday life. He is also a published writer and his son's interest in molluscs has given him new inspiration.

Beverley

Beverley's family may be chronically maladjusted, but she remains largely oblivious to this fact. She tolerates her son's obsessions and her daughter's selfishness and is rarely willing to argue with her husband. Instead of facing up to her problems, she chooses to make gifts for her children and appears to be detached from reality.

Alex

Alex, who is twenty three years old, has been badly affected by his upbringing. He struggles to make decisions, blames others for his problems and finds it difficult to get close to girls. His biggest abnormality, however, lies in his passion for watching snails and allowing them to crawl all over him.

Rose

Rose, who has her own house and runs her own shop selling sweets, is a self-obsessed money grabber. She cares little about anyone but herself, and her heart is in the wrong place - literally. This physical abnormality means that she could die at any moment.

Hosanna (Series 2)

Alex's new girlfriend, Hosanna, is from Sweden but now lives with him in Brixton. She is a relationship counsellor and wishes to practice her techniques on him. Gradually she is drawn into Alex's family's bizarre existence and finds herself coming into contact with both his parents and his snails.