Heston Page 2

Yeh probably not, n.b. there's a huge distance between the blanket fire arms bans of Japan, and UK, and the near total availability in US.

Australia, Europe all manage to license to responsible users, with reasonable restrictions.

Gun crimes in this country are heavily exagerated, most violent crimes in this country are knife based.

I should imagine that there are a lot more people in the UK being stabbed than there is being shot. Therefore because of the rarity of shootings it's makes the headline news more "often" than somebody being stabbed, because of the very fact it's rare.

Anyway, have to go and buy the News of the World. Seeing as they don't sell the Sun on a Sunday.

Somebody stole my carving knife the other day... just walked off with it stuck in their shoulder... bastard chav...

kjs

Ban guns leglaise knives? Can you slice bread with a kalashnikov?

Apropo of nothing, my jokes and skits don't always reflect my own beliefs....

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2008, 1:39 PM BST

Can you slice bread with a kalashnikov?

Yes... if it's set to automatic

kjs

Toast must be fun in your house.

Quote: Rockabilly @ April 6 2008, 9:49 AM BST

Your not fit to comment on anyone, least of all Charlton Heston.

I believe "you're" not fit to comment.

Pretty so-so, Sooty. I'm sure more can be done with this. Like how about something with his cold dead hands?

Quote: Rockabilly @ April 6 2008, 9:49 AM BST

You stupid unfunny c**t.

Strike one Rock.

I have a 12" single by a band called 'Stump' that was titled: 'Charlton Heston put his vest on'. May have to play now in his honour. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xxju1pNhuA

The pyramids were in construction
The pharoah glowed with satisfaction
But then to his immense surprise
His empire fell before his eyes
A hundred thousand busy slaves
Downed their tools and stood and stared

The Red seawalls stood like a canyon
The pharoah pulled up in his wagon
And saw within those walls of glass
A herd of whales go racing past
A hundred thousand fishy tales
Crossed his mind about the day

Then Charlton Heston put his vest on

The broken tablets had been mended
The golden calf had been up-ended
And old folk sitting round the fire
Would talk of voices from the sky
Babies sailing down the Nile
The recipe for locust pie
A hundred thousand frogs per mile
We'd always ask them to describe

How Charlton Heston put his vest on

Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal
Shalt not commit adultery
Boils the size of fifty pee
Lights! Camel! Action!
Bushes that refuse to burn
See these sandals hardly worn
Raining blood, raining bread
The night we painted Egypt red
Thou shalt not covet, shalt not lie
Thou shalt not bonk your neighbour's wife
The recipe for egg fried lice
A hundred ways to kill a fly
Love your daddy, love your mummy
Put your bread in milk and honey
Loved his fish, he did, he did
Never beat the wife and kids
Slouch though desert, slouch through sand
Until we reach the promised land
Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal
Shalt not commit adultery
Boils the size of fifty pee
Lights! Camel! Action!

V.Funny track

Laughing out loud I thought it was funny Sooty. Curt approves. Although like David said you could probably throw in some Heston quotes and make it even funnier. P.S. Heston is dead but...