Quote: playfull @ 17th April 2015, 12:59 AM BST

A Horseradish suffers from 'Turrets Syndrome' - a rare complaint where the sufferer randomly shouts words such as "balistraria", "castellations" and "battlements" accompanied by a Jack Douglas twitch..."Phwaay!"

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I don't disagree with this entirely but it isn't a Syndrome. It's when I'm attempting flamenco.

Playfull owns a derelict service station three miles south of Ashby de la Zouche. He is steadily turning it into a welcome centre for UFOs.

Cookers have already been moved from the old cafeteria into the car park so that alien saucers can land firmly on their rings. And next he plans to have an array of urinals on the old drive-in slope to accommodate the cigar shaped.

Darn, trust me to post in the wrong thread.

Ok, I best come up with a claim then, ey?

Horseradish is well known among certain circles to like salad cream. Worse, salad cream kept in the cupboard, not the fridge.

Gussie persuaded Bertie Wooster to puncture Stiffy Byng's hot water bottle with a darning needle on a stick.

When Beaky is short of cartooning work he weaves straw donkeys for the tourists.

Hercules Grytpype Thynne always wears a singlet and shorts whilst watching Neighbours. He has also been known to sing along with the theme tune whilst dusting.

Quote: Strumpet @ 18th April 2015, 9:31 AM BST

Hercules Grytpype Thynne always wears a singlet and shorts whilst watching Neighbours. He has also been known to sing along with the theme tune whilst dusting.

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No way Jose.......

Stumpet tried to patent a boomerang that didn't come back - she called it "The Stick", but it didn't catch on and she was deported.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 17th April 2015, 1:05 PM BST

Playfull owns a derelict service station three miles south of Ashby de la Zouche. He is steadily turning it into a welcome centre for UFOs.

Cookers have already been moved from the old cafeteria into the car park so that alien saucers can land firmly on their rings. And next he plans to have an array of urinals on the old drive-in slope to accommodate the cigar shaped.

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Would you believe it! First of all Ryanspace get us into trouble describing Ashby de la Zouche as the 'London' space hub to travellers on Alpha Centauri. Then health and safety get involved because the Titan Light bus leaked temporal plasma near the ladies toilets sending two passengers and a tampon machine back to the 14th century (try claiming for that on your insurance!). Sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it. Thank God we have a new PR guy starting Monday to help with our public image, a nice chap named Jeremy Clarkson...

Meanwhile back on the thread -

HGT has applied for a restraining order against Clare Balding, he is asking to keep her at least 100m away from any programme on his TV or Radio. He felt forced into taking this action after realizing Clare is now on over 90% of all BBC programmes...

Quote: playfull @ 19th April 2015, 1:59 PM BST

Would you believe it! First of all Ryanspace get us into trouble describing Ashby de la Zouche as the 'London' space hub to travellers on Alpha Centauri. Then health and safety get involved because the Titan Light bus leaked temporal plasma near the ladies toilets sending two passengers and a tampon machine back to the 14th century (try claiming for that on your insurance!). Sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it. Thank God we have a new PR guy starting Monday to help with our public image, a nice chap named Jeremy Clarkson...

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Thought as much.

Quote: playfull @ 19th April 2015, 1:59 PM BST

HGT has applied for a restraining order against Clare Balding, he is asking to keep her at least 100m away from any programme on his TV or Radio. He felt forced into taking this action after realizing Clare is now on over 90% of all BBC programmes...

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Anyhow, playfull loves that Crystal Gayle song which mentions Alpha Centauri. Believing in magic, not to mention the guiding hand, he is now exceedingly close to having all the universe at his command:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0bzczJ1WiE

Quote: playfull @ 19th April 2015, 1:59 PM BST

HGT has applied for a restraining order against Clare Balding, he is asking to keep her at least 100m away from any programme on his TV or Radio. He felt forced into taking this action after realizing Clare is now on over 90% of all BBC programmes...

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True, true but my wife likes her..........

Quote: A Horseradish @ 19th April 2015, 2:19 PM BST

Thought as much.

Anyhow, playfull loves that Crystal Gayle song which mentions Alpha Centauri. Believing in magic, not to mention the guiding hand, he is now exceedingly close to having all the universe at his command:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0bzczJ1WiE

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Horse likes to fill in cracks.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 19th April 2015, 2:51 PM BST

Horse likes to fill in cracks.

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HGT is permanently plastered.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 19th April 2015, 4:33 PM BST

HGT is permanently plastered.

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Smoothed and polished by an expert plasterer, who licks his trowel.
And then coated with PVA size and painted battleship grey.

Billwill has decided he doesn't like his wooden floors now, so rather than rip them up he is laying down garish 1970s swirly carpets.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 19th April 2015, 5:42 PM BST

Billwill has decided he doesn't like his wooden floors now, so rather than rip them up he is laying down garish 1970s swirly carpets.

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That's my living room, that is.

It's half old lady (previous owner) and half cool dude (me 91 years ago).

Quote: A Horseradish @ 19th April 2015, 7:19 PM BST

That's my living room, that is.

It's half old lady (previous owner) and half cool dude (me 91 years ago).

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HGT once played the character of Winston Hayballs in a production of Tinniswood at his local rep. A female cousin of John Selwyn Gummer played Nancy, Winston's "bit of fluff", in the same production.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 19th April 2015, 7:23 PM BST

HGT once played the character of Winston Hayballs in a production of Tinniswood at his local rep. A female cousin of John Selwyn Gummer played Nancy, Winston's "bit of fluff", in the same production.

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Horseradish is the internet portal through which Milton Friedman speaks to us from the beyond.

Quote: Gussie Fink Nottle @ 19th April 2015, 8:59 PM BST

Horseradish is the internet portal through which Milton Friedman speaks to us from the beyond.

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Yeah, right. >_<