The difficult second album sketch.

Very rough, but feedback welcome.

EXT. CASTLE. THUNDER BOOMS AND LIGHTNING FLASHES.

INT. CASTLE. CAMERA ZOOMS DOWN ONTO THE FACE OF DR FRANKENSTEIN.

FRANKENSTEIN
Igor! Throw the switch!!

IGOR (Throwing a huge electrical switch)
Yesss maaaster...

ELECTRICITY CRACKS ACROSS THE SWITCH TERMINALS AND HEADS, VIA THE USUAL MAD SCIENTIST GADGETS TO THE FINGER TIPS OF A LIFELESS BODY THAT LIES, COVERED WITH A SHEET, ON A LARGE TABLE.

THE FINGERS TWITCH WITH LIFE AND THE BODY SITS UP, THE SHEET FALLING TO REVEAL JULIE KIRKBRIDE.

FRANKENSTEIN (Hands in the air)
She's alive!!!

IGOR SHUFFLES UP NEXT TO THE DOCTOR.

IGOR (Handing over a piece of paper with the large heading 'Expenses' at the top)
Master, this is what she's cost you so far.

FRANKENSTEIN READS THE PAPER INTENTLY HIS FACE GROWING INCREASINGLY LESS DELIGHTED.

Frankenstein.
Oh well...

HE PULLS THE PLUG OUT THHE WALL SOCKET, AND THE MONSTER SLUMPS BACK LIFELESS ON THE TABLE.

I liked it Nil. Make it stage friendly and send to NR

Cheers fella.

Quote: bigfella @ May 28 2009, 7:26 PM BST

Make it stage friendly

View original

Umm

Its very topical - so newsrevue may wish to buy it, but they won't be able to stage it the way it's written. It's easy to do, just cut the castle and thunder and stuff and just have Julie on the table under a sheet with a few wires. You will need to let the audidence know somehow that it's Julie Kirkbride.

Ok, thanks again. *puts thinking cap on*

I dunno the connection seemed to be a bit tenuos, nicely put together but somehow the two bits didn't seem to click.

I was worried about that, the title came first which is probably not a good place to start.

Thanks Sooty.

I do that alot!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo

Something to critique Old Nil Putters on for a change.

The tables have turned Mr Putter.

It was shit.

Haahaha *continues to laugh*

You obviously missed my first effort. Luckily.

Quote: Nil Putters @ May 28 2009, 8:55 PM BST

Haahaha *continues to laugh*

View original

No, it was actually quite good for a serial arm chair procrastinator!

Did like it, although the I prefer the one posted last June.

Quote: Scottidog @ May 28 2009, 8:58 PM BST

No, it was actually quite good for a serial arm chair procrastinator!

Did like it, although the I prefer the one posted last June.

View original

Ha! That's IS actually my job title.

Don't know about that one, but it wasn't mine.

I like the idea even though the phrase "Kirkbride of Frankenstein" doesn't make any sort of sense. Silly is good, though.

Two suggestions:

Call the sketch something else to disguise the idea (e.g. Frankenstein's Expenses)

Make "Kirkbride of Frankenstein" part of the dialogue or the punchline so the audience gets to know it's her at a point of maximum impact.

E.g. Dr Frankie-babes is proud of his creation, Igor comes in with expenses note, Frankie is horrified (stupid Igor again!) and says he wanted Bride of Frankenstein, not Kirkbride of Frankenstein. Turns off the zaps. Add a coda where he says it would have been cheaper to resurrect Elsa Lanchester (to appeal to the film buffs, or go out in silence).

Thanks for the suggestions Badge.

Quote: Badge @ May 28 2009, 11:45 PM BST

Make "Kirkbride of Frankenstein" part of the dialogue or the punchline so the audience gets to know it's her at a point of maximum impact.

E.g. Dr Frankie-babes is proud of his creation, Igor comes in with expenses note, Frankie is horrified (stupid Igor again!) and says he wanted Bride of Frankenstein, not Kirkbride of Frankenstein. Turns off the zaps.

View original

Yeah, I thought of doing that but had no ideas.

But that's good, I may put that in. Thanks.

Elsa Lanchester doesn't make the cut then